BLOOD CREEK (aka Town Creek)
Cast Members of Note- Dominic Purcell, Henry Cavill, Michael Fassbender, and Emma Booth.
Directed by Joel Schumacher.
What's it About?- During WWII, a German family living in America is bribed by the Third Reich to let a Nazi scholar come and live with them on their quaint little Town Creek farm. It turns out that the scholar is in search of a rune stone that is buried on their property, and wants to use it to turn himself into a super Nazi bad-ass. Subsequently, the family is trapped on their farm (which is frozen in time) and put through hell for the next several decades.
|"Ich liebe untoten Pferde!"|
Fast forward about 70 years, and we meet Evan; an EMT with a heart of gold, who lives near Town Creek and is a mess since his brother Victor disappeared while they were camping together 2 years earlier. How do you stay lost in the woods for 2 years? I don't know the answer to that one, but when Victor suddenly shows up in the middle of the night looking like Dan Haggerty on crack, the two of them head back to Town Creek to get revenge on "those kraut bastards" who have been keeping him a prisoner all along.
|For the love of God I hope he's planning to shoot Channing Tatum.|
The problem is, "Those Kraut bastards" have a super Nazi bad-ass necromancer with a thirst for warm blood locked in their cellar, and when he gets out they're all pretty much destined to die painfully. Can the brothers defeat the evil Nazi sorcerer? Will zombie horses nip a guy in the shoulder and pull him through the window? Do the words "bone armor" make anyone else laugh other than me? Maybe, yes, and they just have to.
|Bone armor... lol.|
The Good- I am absolutely astounded at how good this movie was. First and foremost, I loved the premise; the Nazi's sent "Scholars" to America to find ancient rune stones, hoping to harness their occult powers to win WWII and thus rule the world. If that isn't creepy, I don't know what is, especially since the Nazi's actually were into the occult.
The occult aspect of this movie is its strong point. Magic rune stones, reanimated dead people and animals, blood rituals, wards painted on the house to keep the evil at bay, people frozen in time, the Lovecraftian "third eye", and those creepy necromantic spells that the Nazi whispers... It was just all really, really cool.
I actually felt tense during much of this film, and especially once the super Nazi shows up and starts kicking all sorts of ass. The guy can reanimate anything dead to do his bidding, which makes things all the more interesting. Zombie horses. Yep. Bad ass. It's nice to see Joel Schumacher making a strong return to the horror genre, after all he is the guy that gave us The Lost Boys and Flatliners. And two horrible Batman sequels... anyway, welcome back Joel.
|Yeah, this actually happened.|
The Bad- Zombie horses. Not only are they huge, mean, and very creepy to look at, but they are near impossible to kill. If it doesn't die after 10 shotgun blasts, I quit shooting and run. Or I turn the gun on myself.
The Downright Horrendous- After a few title changes and basically no promotion whatsoever, Lionsgate dumped this movie into a handful of $1 theaters and then banished it to Straight-to DVD hell. Why? Did anyone see The Stepfather, Whiteout, or Sorority Row? They all got theatrical runs, decent promotion, and they all sucked. Badly. Blood Creek is a great little movie, and I refuse to believe it couldn't have made enough $ at the BO to justify even a short release. I just don't get it.
The Gory- This one is a gorefest; blood drinking, blood letting, torture, bone knives through chins, all sorts of shotgun violence, zombie horse violence overkill, dog stabbings, zombie violence... all sorts of messy goodness to be found here.
The Naked- No.
Best Line- "That's mine." or "No. you're going to feed me."
What did we learn?- Zombie horses are really hard to kill. Also, Evil Nazi's never die, which means that Hitler is probably a zombie somewhere in Guam or something.
The Master Says- A (9.5/10) This movie was as enjoyable as any I've seen lately, and the best horror flick of the mew decade so far. Creepy, tense, interesting and bloody as all get out, Blood Creek is far better than its treatment by Lionsgate would have you believe. If you love Nazi's, zombies, or just have a love for the dark arts of necromancy, then you'll love this movie. You definitely need to rent this one, if not buy it as soon as you get the chance.
Final Thoughts- Winter Ave Zoli is apparently NOT in this, but I love that name though, so let's look at her anyways. I also love that face.