February 29, 2012
It was a tough one this month, deciding which mistress of horror has captured our attention the most, but we think we made a good choice.
If you haven't seen the British TV show The Fades, you missed out on some pretty good stuff. It's basically about dead spirits that are stuck in a limbo between this world and the next, and how they're pissed off about it. A group of "Angelics" are the only humans that know the Fades exist, and that they are getting stronger and want to pretty much end all human life.
It's a good mix of horror and comedy, the latter part which centers around two bumbling best friends trying to make sense of not only being teenagers, but with all of the supernatural hi jinks. It goes without saying, of course, that the show has it's share of hot chicks, and this month, we honor them.
First up is Natalie Dormer. This crooked mouthed little minx played a smoking hot Anne Boleyn on The Tudors and is about to become a household name playing Margaery Tyrell in the new season of Game of Thrones. In The Fades, she plays Sarah; A sexy, dead Angelic who is slowly turning into a Fade... part of which she does naked and greased up with some sort of slime all over her. Sexy, sexy slime. This girl is crazy hot and isn't afraid to do cool genre TV shows, so we are big fans.
Next we have Lily Loveless, the chick from Skins series 3 & 4.For you Non-Brits out there, Skins is a teen drama show which shows teenagers smoking, drinking, having sex and acting like dumb teenagers. Lily played a girl who liked girls in Skins, so we of course respected her way before The Fades ever came about. As far as The Fades goes, Lily plays the role of snotty bitch older sister, and aside from her needing to do something with her bangs on the show, she's as hot as she was in Skins. Plus, as evidenced by the above picture, she might be an alcoholic and prone to bad decisions. That's only one more reason to love her, isn't it?
Jenn Murray's come a long way since playing Dorothy Mills, because Dorothy Mills was creepy looking, and she isn't at all. Even though Jenn plays a Fade named Natalie on The Fades, she's way cuter than she was before. She's still pretty creepy though. But cute. We digress.
Finally we have Sophie Wu; the cool girl on the show with the boyish haircut. She's way hotter with longer hair, but we'll take her none the less. As the hot, edgy girlfriend of our geeky, not edgy main character, she gives geeks of the world hope that some hot, edgy hot chick with and edge will want them, despite them being a total mess. That's what makes her special.
In closing, check out The Fades because it's a really good show, and enjoy the chicks, because they always make things a bit better, don't they?
February 28, 2012
February draws to a close with a mix of DVD titles that might just appeal to everyone. Then again, they might not.
Rabies is an interesting flick that puts a different spin on the slasher genre... and it's from Israel. We saw it and liked it, and still cant believe that Israel gave us a bloody horror flick. The other must see of the week is Todd and the Book of Pure Evil; it's a fun little Canadian TV show that kinda crosses Degrassi High with, say, Evil Dead? Kinda? However you describe it, it's goofy fun.
I Melt With You is the wild card of the group. With Rob Lowe, Thomas Jane, and Jeremy Piven, not to mention the hotness of Carla Gugino, Arielle Kebbel and porn whore extraordinaire Sasha Grey, it could end up being a good little thriller.
Beneath the Darkness was a lame duck, unless you like the tension level of your average Lifetime movie.
As for the rest of the weeks offerings, well, they give us pause; WWE's Trish Stratus as a bounty hunter in Bounty Hunters); the trailer alone for From the Inside might be one of the worst things I've ever seen; and Wolftown looks... not horrible. Out of this last group, we stick with the wolves... we did after all love The Breed.
Click the pics for more info on the flicks.
What will you rent, buy, or avoid?
February 27, 2012
If you're anything like I was, then your childhood was filled with movies from Hammer Films. Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee were probably the biggest stars on my TV, and many a weekend was spent with me afraid to go to sleep because they -and whatever Hammer Film happened to have been on that day- scared the living hell out of me. No one did Gothic Horror better
When some shitty Elliot Gould movie nearly bankrupted them in 1979, Hammer pretty much stopped making movies. Seriously, who casts Elliot Gould in anything? Flash forward to about 2007, and Hammer Films seemed to be back to making movies. Since then they've given us a remake of Let Me In, The Resident, Wake Wood, and another remake, this one of The Woman in Black.
|Let's not forget that Hammer used some of the hottest girls in the world in their movies too.|
What's it About?-
|"Enough with the Harry Potter jokes already!"|
With the help of his new friend
The Good- The Woman in Black is definitely the kind of haunted house flick we grew up with as kids. Sure, it uses CGI for some of its effects, and the atmosphere of the whole thing isn't quite the atmosphere of old Hammer flicks, but it still stands on its own as effective. The movie takes its time and relies on subtlety to keep your attention, and it isn't long before it wraps you up in its folds and moves in for the kill. I don't mean to make it sound as if it's perfect, its not, but it just works really well.
Daniel Radcliffe can definitely act beyond the realm of all things Harry Potter; he's proven that onstage with with 2007's Eqqus and on film in December Boys, and does so again again here. It's hard not to see a bit of Harry Potter when you look at the kid, the role was so iconic and endearing to the entire world, but he moves your mind right past all of that with his acting ability. Now he just needs to play a ruthless killer of some sort, and all will be well.
It's always a good thing to see Ciaran Hinds on screen too; that guy plays it intense even when he's not playing a ruthless killer, or some other sort of bad ass.
|Daniel Radcliffe always does what's axed of him...|
The Bad- Why were there no saucy village lasses for Harry Potter to shag? Aren't there always saucy lasses in small, English villages?
The Downright Horrendous- *SPOILER ALERT!* Why would you let his hand go, and especially in a train station? You suck as a father.
The Gory- Not so much. There's some blood here and there, but most of the disturbing imagery isn't very gory. Then again, some people might consider children burning to death before their eyes a bit "gory"...
|Also, children committing group suicide is pretty disturbing.|
The Naked- None.
The Best Scene- Probably the entire ending sequence. It comes out of nowhere and seems cliche', but then it leaves you wondering about what just happened and why. We don't wanna spoil things, so that's as detailed as we're getting. We liked it.
What Did We Learn?- There's no making women happy, even in the afterlife. Also, Harry Potter's all growed up and has 'im a kid, which means he got laid. How quickly our innocence is taken from us!
|Go in there? Not on your life.|
The Master Says- A That's the 2nd A grade we've given out recently, and it couldn't be more deserved. Hammer has given us a good old fashioned, atmospheric ghost story with WIB that we don't get too much of these days. Daniel Radcliffe held it down acting wise too, proving he's more than just some child wizard when it comes to acting. If you want to see a fun and creepy haunted house flick, check it out.
Final Thoughts- Hermoine misses you, Harry Potter, and she's all grown up now too. Maybe look her up and cast some peen-guardium vaginosa on her or something...
|She's 21 now, so I don't wanna hear it!|
That's what we've been waiting for. More plot advancement, a little bit less character development, and some zombie action.
Said zombie action was plentiful this week as we saw Rick, Shane and the kid from Rescue Me fighting for their lives, somewhere that was "18 miles out." The "lure them with your blood then stab them in the head" trick was a good one, although using it too much wouldn't be a good thing on the body. Still, it was nice to see walkers get dispatched, essentially left and right.
It was good to see Rick and Shane finally have it out, though now it seems Shane is definitely a goner. He's either resigned to the fact that he has nothing now and will do something stupid to get himself killed, or he will come around and become more noble, which means he has to die because people will start liking him. The ones we like always die!
It was also nice to see Andrea go upside Lori's head. I only wish she would have used her open hand to help get her message across too, but what we got was good.
With only 3 episodes left in the season, you have to imagine things will only get crazier. Next week looks to be a violent one, with Daryl torturing the hell out of the prisoner kid. We like. Will we see Michonne by seasons end? David Morrissey has been confirmed to play next seasons nemesis, The Governor, but will we see him before season 2 wraps up?
I guess we'll know in a few weeks.
February 26, 2012
With this in ind, I finally broke down the other day and decided to watch a Jess Franco flick. For those that don't know Tio Jess, he's pretty much the most prolific exploitation filmmaker of ever. He's done everything from horror to porn. He's made films about naughty nuns, naughty Nazis, lesbian vampires, women in prison, cannibals... he's really done it all. The one theme running through his flicks is definitely perversion. Aside from people who suck, who doesn't like perversion, right?
So I borrowed a copy of one of his horror flicks, Bloody Moon, and dug in. The movie itself is like most European horror flicks of the 70's and 80's; cheesy, poorly acted, gory, excessive and dubbed horribly... and what a fun time it all was!
This review will be done with pictures, as it seems so appropriate. If nothing else, flicks like these tend to have some great visuals to make up for the awful plot.
|Sure, just slowly walk over to the door and let the shadow in.|
|Incest is breast!|
|So, getting stabbed in the chest causes nosebleeds and mouth injuries?|
|That knife is through her nipple.|
|This chick just kinda hangs around all movie.... or... will she ever come out of the closet?|
|"Ooo, oooo, oooooooo!"|
|The infamous saw scene which made this one a "video nasty."|
|Goldie Hawn with a knife?|
|Hot chick about to die...|
|This scene must have been cut out originally, because the video quality was poor and off... also a part of the "video nasty" business I suppose.|
|Oh, another crazy, non-sensical ending to an Italian Horror flick.. who saw that one coming? (me!)|
We have saved one sequence, the best one of the film, for last. It involves the infamous saw scene (which was great for the saw beheading alone), and a little Italian boy whom we have nicknamed. Lil' G... The G could be for Gustaf or Gerhardt, since this is a German flick, but then again it's set in Spain, so maybe the G stands for Giancarlo or something?
|So, Lil' G sees the killer take some random whore to a deserted building, and decides to investigate.|
|Realizing that the girl is about of be cut in half by a massive saw, he decides to try and save her...|
|He stops the saw, and when confronted by the killer, Lil' G kicks him in the ankle! Good for you kid!|
|Then he runs for his life, down the center of the road... why not hide in the grass?|
|Lil' G, brave ankle kicker, discovers he can't out run a car...|
|... and, dirt nap.|
The Master Says- B+ It goes without saying that Bloody Moon is a wreck of a film plot and dialogue wise, but a true gem if you like hot sluts, gore and laughing a lot. Jess Franco was truly a master of visual perversion, and he gives us a good dose of it here. Check this one out and have some nasty fun with it.
Final Thoughts- Jess Franco's long time partner and muse, Lina Romay, died on 2/15/2012 at the age of 57. Lina was one of the most beloved actresses in cult, horror, and erotic cinema, and were sad to hear of her passing. Fuck you, cancer. Thanks for everything, Lina, and rest in peace.